In the arms of an Angel
,,Islam is the perfect cradle to grow up in this life for Hereafter, because it is the ultimate God's decision for mankind." Rahmah
,, At The bank is showing an old man asking to be given a high enough credit. Slightly embarrassed bank's employee asks:
- How old are you Mr., may I know?
- I'm 85 years old, young man!
- At this age you need somebody to grant for yourself that you will be able to repay the loan!
- Ohh! No problem at all! I can come with my father!
- Your father???? But…how old is your father?
- He is 110 years old! But please, listen we really need this loan! We need the money for grandpap's wedding!
- Oh …the wedd…I see. And how old is your grandfather? I'm just curious…
- Sure! He is 140 years old!
- Oh my God! And at this age he is thinking …to marry?
- Actually no, but his parents keep pushing and insist!"
- How old are you Mr., may I know?
- I'm 85 years old, young man!
- At this age you need somebody to grant for yourself that you will be able to repay the loan!
- Ohh! No problem at all! I can come with my father!
- Your father???? But…how old is your father?
- He is 110 years old! But please, listen we really need this loan! We need the money for grandpap's wedding!
- Oh …the wedd…I see. And how old is your grandfather? I'm just curious…
- Sure! He is 140 years old!
- Oh my God! And at this age he is thinking …to marry?
- Actually no, but his parents keep pushing and insist!"
If you want that your wife to listen to you when you talk, then talk with other woman. She will be only eyes and ears.
A scotish on his dying bed asks:
- Mom are you here?
- Yes my son, I'm here!
- Wife, are you here?
- Yes my husband! I am here!
- Kids! You too here?
- Yes dady! We all are here!
- If everybody is here, then why in the hell is the light on in the kitchen?
When are you intelligent and when are you wise?
You are intelligent when you believe only half from what you hear and wise if you know which half to believe.
A scotish on his dying bed asks:
- Mom are you here?
- Yes my son, I'm here!
- Wife, are you here?
- Yes my husband! I am here!
- Kids! You too here?
- Yes dady! We all are here!
- If everybody is here, then why in the hell is the light on in the kitchen?
When are you intelligent and when are you wise?
You are intelligent when you believe only half from what you hear and wise if you know which half to believe.
1. At physics lesson the teacher say to his students:
- As you can see, you dont see anything! Why you dont see anything? You will see at once!
2. A blonde young woman, stops the car in front of semaphore at red. The yellow appears, but the lady doesn't go. The green appear. Still, the blondy lady doesn't move. Red comes again and she seems to have no intention to move on. The other drivers start to lose patience and scream and honk. Police man approaches to the blondy's car and ask her:
- The Lady wishes other color?
3. In the surgery room, the surgeon say to his assistent:
- Anesthesy please!
- Which one you wish to use, ours or from import?
- Import!
- Sorry. It's finished!
- Then use ours!
- Sleep lightly, tender sleep…..
- As you can see, you dont see anything! Why you dont see anything? You will see at once!
2. A blonde young woman, stops the car in front of semaphore at red. The yellow appears, but the lady doesn't go. The green appear. Still, the blondy lady doesn't move. Red comes again and she seems to have no intention to move on. The other drivers start to lose patience and scream and honk. Police man approaches to the blondy's car and ask her:
- The Lady wishes other color?
3. In the surgery room, the surgeon say to his assistent:
- Anesthesy please!
- Which one you wish to use, ours or from import?
- Import!
- Sorry. It's finished!
- Then use ours!
- Sleep lightly, tender sleep…..
- Darling, soon we will be three!!!
- Ohh, this is such good news! Said the husband and kissed her.
- My mother got divorced! She will come to live with us!
Iţic and Ştrul were very good friends. One day Ştrul dies. Iţic goes to the Newspaper for ad mortuary. He wrote for the ad: ,,Ştrul died."
- We charge anyway for 4 words! said the clerk. You can add more if oyu want.
Iţic think about few seconds and after that he added these:
,,Ştrul died. I sell a car."
- Ohh, this is such good news! Said the husband and kissed her.
- My mother got divorced! She will come to live with us!
Iţic and Ştrul were very good friends. One day Ştrul dies. Iţic goes to the Newspaper for ad mortuary. He wrote for the ad: ,,Ştrul died."
- We charge anyway for 4 words! said the clerk. You can add more if oyu want.
Iţic think about few seconds and after that he added these:
,,Ştrul died. I sell a car."
Let's skip inside of the mind of a pesymist and an optimist one, to see what they think regarding the world echonomic crisys.
The pesimist: - Oh my God, we will have to begging!
The optimist: - From whom? From whom?
Two female mouses chat:
- You know girl, i have a new friend! Look! I have also a picture with him…
- But this is a bat, honey!
- Ohhh! He told me he is a pilot!!!!!!!!!!
WHat's the difference between a psycho and a neuropath?
- The psycho believes that 1+1=3
- The neuropath knows that 1+1=2, but this drives him crazy.
The pesimist: - Oh my God, we will have to begging!
The optimist: - From whom? From whom?
Two female mouses chat:
- You know girl, i have a new friend! Look! I have also a picture with him…
- But this is a bat, honey!
- Ohhh! He told me he is a pilot!!!!!!!!!!
WHat's the difference between a psycho and a neuropath?
- The psycho believes that 1+1=3
- The neuropath knows that 1+1=2, but this drives him crazy.
Entertainment
1. Olivetty
ingredients: - 4 medium potatoes; 100 g cut it black olives; 300g-400 g white fillets fish; 200g beef pastrami; piper, salt and tartar sauce.
Preparation: the potatoes will be peeled, cut it in small cubs and boiled. The fish also must be boiled without any ingredients. The fish must be cut it in pieces like the potatoes, but the pastrami must be cut it in long and thin slices. We put all these inside of a bowl and the tartar sauce comes to mix all these ingredients. The piper and salt will be put it by taste and we trim the ,,Olivetty" with the olives. This food can be served with green salad with lemon.
Bon Appetite!
ingredients: - 4 medium potatoes; 100 g cut it black olives; 300g-400 g white fillets fish; 200g beef pastrami; piper, salt and tartar sauce.
Preparation: the potatoes will be peeled, cut it in small cubs and boiled. The fish also must be boiled without any ingredients. The fish must be cut it in pieces like the potatoes, but the pastrami must be cut it in long and thin slices. We put all these inside of a bowl and the tartar sauce comes to mix all these ingredients. The piper and salt will be put it by taste and we trim the ,,Olivetty" with the olives. This food can be served with green salad with lemon.
Bon Appetite!
JOKES
RECIPES
Gouddy
Ingredients: 100g Gouda cheddar razor it, 100g white pearl rice, 150g chicken pastrami, black olives cut it, tomatoes, ketchup sauce and mayonnaise with pickled cucumbers, salt and piper.
Preparation: the rice must be boiled in simple water for 16 minutes. When is ready we mix it with the cheese and the pastrami cut it in small pieces in the shape we like. After that we arrange it nice inside of a bowl and trim it with the olives and the slices of tomatoes. We can add ketchup, mayonnaise, salt and piper by taste.
Bon Appétit
Ingredients: 100g Gouda cheddar razor it, 100g white pearl rice, 150g chicken pastrami, black olives cut it, tomatoes, ketchup sauce and mayonnaise with pickled cucumbers, salt and piper.
Preparation: the rice must be boiled in simple water for 16 minutes. When is ready we mix it with the cheese and the pastrami cut it in small pieces in the shape we like. After that we arrange it nice inside of a bowl and trim it with the olives and the slices of tomatoes. We can add ketchup, mayonnaise, salt and piper by taste.
Bon Appétit
Cocktail 1.
ingredients: 400g green beans, 200g pearl rice, 200g beef boiled meat or beef pastrami, 3 big tomatoes, salt and piper.
Preparation: we boil the rice for 16 minutes with water and salt. The green beans also must be cut it in 2 cm pieces and boiled for 20 minutes in water with salt. The meat or the pastrami must be well prepared or boiled and cut it in small cubs. All the ingredients will be mix it and put it on a bowl or plate. We can arrange the slices of tomatoes in any way we like.
Bon Appétit
ingredients: 400g green beans, 200g pearl rice, 200g beef boiled meat or beef pastrami, 3 big tomatoes, salt and piper.
Preparation: we boil the rice for 16 minutes with water and salt. The green beans also must be cut it in 2 cm pieces and boiled for 20 minutes in water with salt. The meat or the pastrami must be well prepared or boiled and cut it in small cubs. All the ingredients will be mix it and put it on a bowl or plate. We can arrange the slices of tomatoes in any way we like.
Bon Appétit
Cremolino 1
Ingredients: 3 plums, 1 kiwi, 1 banana, 300 g grapes, 400 ml milk, a cremole pack of vanilla cream powder, chocolate flakes.
Preparation: is easy. The vanilla cream will be made it with milk and mix it in 3 minutes only. We cut the fruits in the way we like. The plums and bananas will be on first layer of bowl. After that we put the vanilla cream and above we arrange the other fruits into an esthetic and appetizing way.
Bon Appétit
Ingredients: 3 plums, 1 kiwi, 1 banana, 300 g grapes, 400 ml milk, a cremole pack of vanilla cream powder, chocolate flakes.
Preparation: is easy. The vanilla cream will be made it with milk and mix it in 3 minutes only. We cut the fruits in the way we like. The plums and bananas will be on first layer of bowl. After that we put the vanilla cream and above we arrange the other fruits into an esthetic and appetizing way.
Bon Appétit
Calamaraty
Ingredients: 250 g sea fruits cocktail, 250 g white rice, 50g black olives, 50 g cheese, tomatoes sauce, 150 g tartar sauce.
Preparation: everything must be boiled in water without salt. The white rice for 16 minutes and the sea fruits for 20 minutes. The rice will be mixed with cheese and the fruits with tartar sauce and olives. We can make a beautiful arrangement on the plate and we can add boiled eggs or tomatoes or any other set of food.
Bon Appétit
Ingredients: 250 g sea fruits cocktail, 250 g white rice, 50g black olives, 50 g cheese, tomatoes sauce, 150 g tartar sauce.
Preparation: everything must be boiled in water without salt. The white rice for 16 minutes and the sea fruits for 20 minutes. The rice will be mixed with cheese and the fruits with tartar sauce and olives. We can make a beautiful arrangement on the plate and we can add boiled eggs or tomatoes or any other set of food.
Bon Appétit
A tourist is about to drown in the sea. Fishermen stand and watch.
- Help! Help! exclaimed the tourist.
A fisherman by the other:
- Click once F1 hear me?
If manufacturers would build the palace in the same way that programmers designing their programs, then the first woodpecker that would arise would destroy civilization.
Bill Gates is on trial for bigamy. He says:
- If you live with two women does not mean bigamy, but multitasking ...
Congress for the most advanced technology in the world - Americans take a hair and you cut it in four parts. - Russians take part and give it a thread inside and outside. - The Chinese take it and write on it "Made in China"!
- Help! Help! exclaimed the tourist.
A fisherman by the other:
- Click once F1 hear me?
If manufacturers would build the palace in the same way that programmers designing their programs, then the first woodpecker that would arise would destroy civilization.
Bill Gates is on trial for bigamy. He says:
- If you live with two women does not mean bigamy, but multitasking ...
Congress for the most advanced technology in the world - Americans take a hair and you cut it in four parts. - Russians take part and give it a thread inside and outside. - The Chinese take it and write on it "Made in China"!
Jokes
Question:
-Why the managers doesn't go in vacation same time?
Answer:
- So nobody can realize that the company can work without them!
Two blondes into a car, stops to the semaphore at the red light:
- Mamamia…do you see what a beautiful red?
- Yaaa, woow!
- Ohh, look what an incredible yellow!?
- Aha!
- But look at the green! Its nice…
- Ya, this is super!
- Aaa, that red again that we already saw, lets go!
Question:
-Why the managers doesn't go in vacation same time?
Answer:
- So nobody can realize that the company can work without them!
Two blondes into a car, stops to the semaphore at the red light:
- Mamamia…do you see what a beautiful red?
- Yaaa, woow!
- Ohh, look what an incredible yellow!?
- Aha!
- But look at the green! Its nice…
- Ya, this is super!
- Aaa, that red again that we already saw, lets go!